MLB

10 Things That Will Happen in MLB by June 1st

March Madness is over and the NBA playoffs are a few weeks from getting interesting, so all we’ve got is baseball. Unless you’re complete nerds like us, you probably can’t name seven of the nine random dudes in the Brewers lineup, so it’s going to take you a month or two to figure out WTF is going on. Luckily, you have us to set your expectations for the 2017 season…

No 10: The Padres Will Be Historically Bad

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How bad are the Padres? Thanks for asking, they’re terrible. San Diego’s best player is Wil Myers and their three starters are Jhoulys Chacín, Clayton Richard, and Jered Weaver. You read that correctly: Jhoulys Chacín is the Padres’ ace. Yikes. It’s going to be a long, awful season for San Diego…

No 9: Kansas City Will Be Rebuilding

Losing Yordano Ventura was tragic beyond words, but it will also signal the end of an era for the 2015 World Series champions, the team that indirectly led to Lorde’s success as an artist. All of their stars (Hosmer, Cain, Moose-tacos, and Escobar) will be free agents, they can’t afford to keep them all, and their pitching staff is too thin to keep them atop the AL Central. It’s gonna be a tough season for Kansas City fans, but rebuilding is just the reality of being a small market franchise…

No 8: Adrián Beltré Will Collect His 3,000th Hit

This is by far the least creative prediction on this list — Beltré only needs a handful of knocks (58 as of today) and he’ll reach a milestone that will assure him a bust in Cooperstown…

No 7: Dallas Keuchel Will Bounce Back

After a brilliant 2015 (232 innings, 2.48 ERA), Dallas played more like Waco in 2016 (168 innings, 4.55 ERA). Injuries were a part of the decline, but now that he’s fully healthy, Houston’s ace should be the hottest thing in Texas next to Austin real estate…

No 6: Yan Gomes Will Be the AL Comeback Player Of The Year Front-runner

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Gomes had a nightmare season in 2016, striking out, popping up, and weakly grounding out to a .167 batting average and multiple stints on the DL. Now healthy with a revamped swing and a better approach at the plate, expect Gomes to return to his past form this season. Luckily for him, it can’t get any worse…

No 5: Greg Bird Will Be More Popular in NYC Than Gary Sanchez

Sanchez is an absolute stud (or to use a baseball term, Sanchez is dirty), but Bird’s our pick to break out in 2017. The Yankees first baseman is healthy, had a huge spring, and will quickly make New York fans forget about Mark Teixeira…

No 4: Kyle Schwarber Will Lead the League In Home Runs

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Most outside of Chicago don’t realize how good Schwarber is, but trust us, he’s this era’s Babe Ruth. Bold statement but we’re sticking with it. Schwarber’s a once-in-a-lifetime talent when it comes to swinging a wooden stick. As long as he stays healthy, he’ll be a household name by the end of the season…

No 3: Andrew Benintendi Will Have Sex With 1,000 Women In Boston (And Run Away With the AL ROY Award)

Look at his hair — does he even have to speak or do the panties just fly off? Andy Benny (as he’s known at Lead HQ) will run away with the Rookie of the Year award, and with the hearts of every lady in Massachusetts…

No 2: The Colorado Rockies Won’t Be Terrible

We know the Rockies can score in bundles, but can they not give up a hundred runs per game? We like their young pitching staff, highlighted by the filthy Jon Gray, and believe they’re going to give the Dodgers and Giants a run in the NL West this year…

No 1: Bryce Harper Will Be In The Middle Of A Career Year

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Harper battled injuries last year after a hot start, but he also battled his ego. His talent has never been a question, but with another year of maturation under his belt, this is the year the 24-year-old (yes, he’s still only 24) will put all the pieces together…

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