4 Positions You Don’t Need to Be In Shape to Play

If you’re reading this, you’re likely not a professional athlete. Your flat stomach from high school has acquired the mush of adulthood and your bi-weekly jogs don’t exactly have you ready to hop into a pickup game with LeBron and Chris Paul.

Good news — there’s still a lot of positions you can play where stamina and fast-twitch muscles mean very little. Like the following…


4. First Base 

Baseball players in general leave a bit to be desired in the athletic department when compared with the other major sports, but the worst of the bunch has to be first baseman. They rely on precise hand-eye coordination more than raw athleticism, and can play an entire game where extending for an errant throw is their greatest athletic feat. If I told you there was a job in which the responsibilities included spitting, having friendly chats with people on base and occasionally stretching, and the only caveat was you had to mash 95mph fastballs. Sign me up…


3. Missionary

If you’re starting missionary, you’re essentially conceding that it’s going to take three minutes or less and that you’re going to need an inhaler afterward…


2. FG Kicker

Possibly the most hated on position in sports, kickers really do get the short end of the shit-stick. Any position where you could eat a tub of KFC ten minutes before the game and perform without any issues really does deserved to be ridiculed like a shirtless pic of Sebastian Janikowski…


1. Golfer

Literally a walk in the park, and if you don’t feel like walking you can rent a cart. Sure, the pros aren’t allowed to use anything but leg transportation, but they have butlers who carry their shit for them at all times and give them advice so their brains don’t have to work too hard. Forget about Tiger’s biceps and the new group of fit looking golf stars, this game has proven time and time again that you can be flabby, jiggly and jowly and still put the ball in the hole. If you haven’t realized by now, this entire article was an excuse to marvel at the aesthetic brilliance that is John Daly…

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