Joe Buck revealed in his autobiography that his addiction to hair plugs gave him a throat illness that almost cost him that velvety moneymaker that is his voice box. As a sports fan of any kind it’s hard to imagine where we would be without Joe Buck and his famous catchphrases, “What did you think Troy?” and “Marry me, Troy Aikman.” All that being said, we can all agree that those are some pretty sexy hair plugs. Here are five reasons they’re to die for:
No 5: Joe Buck Announces Both Baseball And Football, Neither Of Which You Can Do Without Hair
Go ahead and name one bald announcer. Okay Mike Tirico, I’ll giv– Okay, Trent Dilfer, nice cat– Yes, both Hasselbeck brothers are cue balls holding microphones. But they all have substantive things to say about sports, unlike the Buckster.
No 4: Joe Buck’s Father Had Hair And He’s The Only Reason Joe Has A Job
Jack Buck is one of the all-time great announcers, with a silky voice and a great head of hair. It would be cruel to make his son choose between the two.
No 3: Troy Aikman Has A Pathological Fear Of Bald People
Aikman has been known to have panic attacks if he even sees a knee cap that resembles a bald head. Bucky couldn’t risk losing his one true love. He would plug ANY body part to keep Troy happy, as he’s told Troy many a time. So Joe did what he had to do and risked death by going under the plug machine.
This is my Sunday in a nutshell: my whole family sits in silence as we wait for the ol’ Buckaroony to appear and make our hearts flutter. I could look up which game he’s announcing but that would take away the thrill.
This one is just science. Bald people aren’t allowed near football fields, or on television. Have you ever seen a bald person in a football stadium? Okay, Mike Tirico, Trent Dilfer, and both Hasselbeck brothers, but we’ve already confirmed those. Other than that? None, exactly. Joe Buck saved his career by getting hair plugs, and more importantly, he saved America.