On the whole, pretty much every current stadium in Major League Baseball has ascended to a level of excellence, whether it be architecturally, atmospherically, or by creating a rich baseball-centric community around the park. Here we take a look at the five fields that we felt are bereft of character, charm, and that special something that makes coming to a baseball game unlike attending any other sporting event.
5. Marlins Park
Yeah, yeah, yeah we know it’s brand new, but that makes its flaws even more inexcusable. Like most things in Miami, Marlins Park has a fake, superficial feel to it. From the putrid shade of green chosen for the walls to the abysmal $2.5 million home run sculpture thingy in left-center, there’s just nothing that says authentic. We also had to dock points for the incredibly shady circumstances that led to the park being built in the first place. It’s like a flashy South Beach socialite driving around in their bright yellow souped-up Camaro — it definitely thinks it’s cool, but on the inside, it lacks anything of substance.
4. Rogers Centre
Our neighbors to the north will give us shit for this, but come on, this place is ugly as hell. The boring blue color scheme that runs throughout the park only highlights the architectural dullness that makes the Rogers Centre an eyesore. While it does boast the league’s first fully retractable roof and a connected hotel with rooms that overlook the field, the pure unsexy blandness of it was enough to earn it a spot on our list. Credit is owed to Jays fans, however, for creating a one-of-a-kind atmosphere during the playoffs.
3. Angels Stadium
Is there anything shockingly awful about it? No. It’s just sort of…blah. Kind of like the city of Anaheim. While it’s a perfectly adequate place to watch Mike Trout do his thang, there’s nothing remotely memorable about this stadium. Angel fans are devoted, despite management doing their best to run the team into the ground, and the late-inning appearance of the Rally Monkey (made famous during their 2002 World Series run) is always good to put a smile on your face. Otherwise, we see no reason why anyone outside of the OC would ever want to visit.
2. Tropicana Field
The Rays are consistently last in attendance, and most of the time the product on the field is far less to blame than the field itself. Granted, Tampa Bay/St. Petersburg ain’t exactly a bustling market, but it’s hard to blame locals for not wanting to trudge out to a ballgame a the Trop. Opened in 1990, pretty much everything about this place feels dated — from the turf to the white-ceilinged dome that makes you feel as if you’re inside a massive biohazard tent. But hey, you can touch real-life Devil Rays. Wooooo!!! We foresee a move for the Rays in the near future, either out of the Trop or out of Tampa altogether.
1. Oakland Coliseum
How do we put this lightly…this stadium is the ballpark equivalent of an unflushed turd. And it might even smell like it sometimes, as it’s been known to flood with sewage water after a heavy rainfall. The only ballpark that still doubles as a football field (though not for long with the Raiders moving) is far and away baseball’s worst venue. It’s old, it’s ugly, and given that it also houses Raider fans at times, it’s undoubtedly grimy. The A’s have desperately been trying to build a new stadium, a reality that could come to fruition sooner rather than later now that they’ve reportedly found a location. In the meantime, they’ll continue to play their home games at this 60,000 seat dumpster.