6 Reasons Groupies Need To Be Allowed At The Combine

It’s not only the old wrinkly general managers who are going to be checking out the fresh meat at the combine. There are gonna be some ladies (and for all we know, men) checking out high draft picks for their own team’s of one as well. Or at least there should be. Let us list the reasons why…

No 6: These Fine Young Men In Spandex Are the Best Show This Side of Broadway


I don’t want to say she’s just a gold digger: it’s about so many more superficial things than just money. Like, you know, abs and ass. Oh yeah, and that cold hard ca$h…

No 5: These Boys About To Be Making $$$


Speaking of that cold hard cash, some of these young boys are about to become very, VERY rich men. Plus, their constant head trauma will make it easier to lie about where you’re spending their money…

No 4: They Can Win A Fucking Island. And Shoes. Shoes May Be More Important


Yeah, that’s what I said: a Mother. Fucking. Island. (Just don’t read the fine print…)

No 3: Their Testosterone Levels Are Gonna Be Sky High: Good Time To Get Preggers

The juices will be flowing and the cum guns doing their thing. If you wanna lock it down, knock it up.

No 2: You Know That GM’s Are Gonna Fall In Love With And Drool Over Prospects, But They’re Too Smart For That. They’re In Love With The Game…

Leave it to the old men to drool about the potential to grow and fill out: for you ladies, it’s all about the earning potential.

No 1: They Test How Fast They Are In The 40, But You Can Check Out How Long They Last


Speed is great on the field, but patience is needed in the bedroom. If they’re quicker than John Ross’s (record 4.22) 40 kick them to the curb. You want Ross in the cleats, Brady in the sheets…

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