Cat’s outta the bag, people. Odell can’t catch. Oh look, here comes a flurry of one handed and sideline haul-in clips. Nope [swat]. Get that garbage out of here. He could average 100 one-handed touchdown catches in the regular season, but if you can’t bring ’em in during the playoffs, you simply can’t catch. Period. Because when it matters most, you are just as effective during the post-season as the fan who didn’t even watch the game but says, “We did it!” So, not effective. Odell’s hands are so bad, he couldn’t catch these six things…
No. 6: A Cold
You could put Odell in the middle of, let’s say, a Wisconsin cheese farm in mid February (totally random), shirtless, douse him in some fresh Lactobacillus, and he still couldn’t catch a cold.
No. 5: BOHS Ball
Odell’s the guy on the beach always high-stepping after the ball as it rolls towards the water, because for him, the ocean is still a bit too cold.
No. 4: A Wild Rattata
Odell could toss out a Master Ball in the high grass outside of Brock’s Gym and he still wouldn’t corral a Rattata. And it has a 255 Catch Rate! Ha! Nerd.
No. 3: The Zzz’s
You could put Odell on IBM’s next quarterly earnings call and he still wouldn’t catch the Zzz’s.
No. 2: Chlamydia At A Water Park
Forget just swimming at the water park, Odell could scuba in the wave pool for the day and still come out clean.
No. 1: These Hands…
Even though it would be near impossible to do, Eli best make sure Odell catches his hands…