All six of these sports figures stepped away from the game because they had larger commitments to their friends, their families, and their communities, only to realize shortly thereafter that they didn’t give a shit about any of that.
No 6: Urban Meyer
Urban Meyer left Florida in 2010 citing health risks, and wanting to spend more time with his family, but by 2012 he was back on the sidelines, either with a clean bill of health or having decided that his family made the health risks worth it.
No 5: Deion Sanders
Prime Time signed a huge deal to play for the Washington Redskins. He then retired the next year, in his early 30s. Makes sense since he said, “I don’t care what they say about me when I’m through with sports, I don’t want to be known as anything else in life but a great father.” Except that less than six months later he started discussing a comeback and said that he would play until he was 39 years old. Fatherhood sounds nice until it’s your job to put the Cheerios in the kid’s mouth and you realize you’d rather be getting concussed for money.
No 4: Ricky Williams
After failing multiple drug tests, Ricky Williams wanted to spend more time with his only love, Mary Jane. But Mary can be a fickle lover, and in a year Ricky was back on the field, presumably to make enough money to buy more Mary Jane…
No 3: Andy Pettitte
Pettitte retired in 2011 saying, “I am looking forward to this next chapter in my life. And right now I don’t want it to be anything except hanging out with my family.” He came back a year later saying, “My son’s a bitch and my daughter’s an idiot. Play ball.”
No 2: Roger Clemens
Roger Clemens has retired and unretired so many times his retirement has become the Lindsay Lohan DUI of baseball, a friendly reminder that time is passing by. In 2015, the 50-year-old was seen pitching for an independent minor league team and TheLead is now reporting that that afternoon he paid a hooker just so he could read her his statistics from his prime.
No 1: Brett Favre
Brett is the real champion of this; maybe it was hope, maybe it was the repetitive shots to the head as he seemingly kept forgetting how much he hated his family. Favre retired in 2007, 2008, 2009, and finally let go for good in 2010, only to continue his career in perpetuity by appearing in Wrangler and Copper Fit ads running approximately every eight seconds during the season.