Bill Belichick has been a style icon for going on two decades. The guy has done more for gray hooded sweatshirts than Giorgio Armani did for men’s suits or Juicy Couture did for men who want an excuse to stare at women’s asses, so it’s about goddamn time he got his own fashion line. The first collection should be available sometime around the first of never.
No 9: The Classic Gray Hoodie
The story behind the Reebok hoodie is now the stuff of legend, so it’s only fitting that the sweatshirt is the centerpiece of the collection.
No 8: The Gollum
We imagine this is the image – ill-fitting windbreaker pants, drawn hood, malevolent demeanor – that typically comes to mind when rival NFL fans think of the Pats skipper. Menacing scowl sold separately.
No 7: The Mixing-It-Up Khakis
Khaki is universally compatible with any mediocre outfit in any scenario, from the sidelines to the golf course to the film room. Best to keep a pair or two on standby.
No 6: The Sub-Zero
Simply donning a hat wouldn’t be enough to shield most humans from a harsh winter night in Foxborough, but for the truly cold-blooded, that’s all you need.
No 5: The Business Casual
This is about as dressy as Belichick gets aside from special occasions like a Super Bowl ring ceremony or Tom Brady’s biannual stay-out-’til-9-pm soirée.
No 4: The Holdout
This look is comprised of anything non-camo during the NFL’s masturbatory “Salute to Service” month. After all, to be contrarian, oftentimes, is to achieve fashion greatness.
No 3: The “I’m Dreaming of My Sweats” Suit
Going outside one’s comfort zone is never easy, but The Hoodie pulls it off like a four-time champ.
No 2: The Long Story Short
Boldly taking the Classic Gray Hoodie a step further toward the cutting edge, this ensemble projects ample self-confidence toward opponents, and fiercely challenges everyone around to tell you no.
No 1: The Fine Vintage
With the sourpuss reputation Belichick has amassed for himself in the media, it’s hard to believe this isn’t photoshopped. But over the course of one’s career, a little schmoozing goes a long way.