NFL

9 Looks from Bill Belichick's Upcoming Fashion Line

Bill Belichick has been a style icon for going on two decades. The guy has done more for gray hooded sweatshirts than Giorgio Armani did for men’s suits or Juicy Couture did for men who want an excuse to stare at women’s asses, so it’s about goddamn time he got his own fashion line. The first collection should be available sometime around the first of never.

No 9: The Classic Gray Hoodie

Jan 13, 2013; Foxboro, MA, USA; New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick during the second half of the AFC divisional round playoff game against the Houston Texans at Gillette Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Greg M. Cooper-USA TODAY Sports ORG XMIT: USATSI-120282 ORIG FILE ID: 20130113_jel_sj7_064.jpg

The story behind the Reebok hoodie is now the stuff of legend, so it’s only fitting that the sweatshirt is the centerpiece of the collection.

No 8: The Gollum

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We imagine this is the image – ill-fitting windbreaker pants, drawn hood, malevolent demeanor – that typically comes to mind when rival NFL fans think of the Pats skipper. Menacing scowl sold separately.

No 7: The Mixing-It-Up Khakis

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Khaki is universally compatible with any mediocre outfit in any scenario, from the sidelines to the golf course to the film room. Best to keep a pair or two on standby.

No 6: The Sub-Zero

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Simply donning a hat wouldn’t be enough to shield most humans from a harsh winter night in Foxborough, but for the truly cold-blooded, that’s all you need.

No 5: The Business Casual

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This is about as dressy as Belichick gets aside from special occasions like a Super Bowl ring ceremony or Tom Brady’s biannual stay-out-’til-9-pm soirée.

No 4: The Holdout

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This look is comprised of anything non-camo during the NFL’s masturbatory “Salute to Service” month. After all, to be contrarian, oftentimes, is to achieve fashion greatness.

No 3: The “I’m Dreaming of My Sweats” Suit

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Going outside one’s comfort zone is never easy, but The Hoodie pulls it off like a four-time champ.

No 2: The Long Story Short

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Boldly taking the Classic Gray Hoodie a step further toward the cutting edge, this ensemble projects ample self-confidence toward opponents, and fiercely challenges everyone around to tell you no.

No 1: The Fine Vintage

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With the sourpuss reputation Belichick has amassed for himself in the media, it’s hard to believe this isn’t photoshopped. But over the course of one’s career, a little schmoozing goes a long way.

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