TheQuickie // A Slave-Owner Mentality

Share on Facebook0Tweet about this on Twitter

342c3c7b-2fc1-449e-99e9-9a32b4adee1a

It may not be official yet, but we’re calling it anyway: Bayern Munich has become the first team to qualify for the UEFA Champions League quarterfinals. Walloping a truly pathetic Arsenal squad 5-1 at home (again), Thiago Alcantara and his dunkel-quaffing, lederhosen-clad teammates all but locked up their advancement to the next round, pending the formality of the second leg matchup in London. From the aloof vantage point of Arsenal owner Stan Kroenke, however, all went according to plan. Judging by nonsense words that came out of his mouth last year, Kroenke has no interest in the non-business side of sports (a.k.a. the sports part). If you thought Rams fans had it bad, the perennial woes of Arsenal supporters should put everything back in perspective. Oh, and Real Madrid won, too

DRAYMOND CALLS OUT DOLAN, KNICKS VALUED AT $3.3 BILLION

2411a277-30ba-4664-8946-27f8d275e118

This will hopefully be the last thing we write about the Knicks until they trade Carmelo Anthony for pennies on the dollar, but a player on the Warriors with a propensity for punching penises said James Dolan’s treatment of Charles Oakley equates to a “slave-owner mentality.” Social media quickly jumped on Draymond Green for his word-choice (you can read his full statement here), but let’s be real: the Knicks are the North Korea of the NBA. People (especially Caucasian people) hate hearing the word “slavery” tossed around, but anyone who played for the Knicks — before or after Dolan became owner — knows that the idiot heir to the Cablevision throne is essentially the Kim Jong Un of the NBA, and that the Oakley situation was his ballistic missile. The good news? We found James’ “Preparation Notes” from his Michael Kay interview, and they’re amazing

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT…

ae5cbc83-5887-4199-90f7-87b31ea68fbb

MICHIGAN STATE

  • Tough week for green-lovers in East Lansing: longtime gymnastics coach Kathie Klages retired after “passionately defending” Dr. Larry Nassar, who has since been accused of molesting dozens of patients, hoarding child pornography and sexually abusing a child at his home. Klages has been accused in civil court filings of brushing off a gymnast’s complaints about Nassar in the late 90s. The school also suspended football staffer Curtis Blackwell for unidentified reasons and will conclude a sexual assault investigation involving three football players next week. Oh, and the basketball team sucks. Tough time to be a Spartan…

MLB

NBA

  • Rising star Eric Bledsoe had a triple-double (25 points, 10 rebounds, and 13 assists) in Phoenix’s 137-101 shellacking of the Lakers…
  • So Miami’s like…good? The Heat had their winning streak snapped at 13, but beat the Rockets in Houston 117-109 to end their two-game losing skid. Dion Waiters had 23 points, nine rebounds, and seven assists for the team Dwyane Wade used to play on…
  • So many scores from last night — click here to see how many baskets each team collected

CBB

  • Jayson Tatum scored 21 points in the second half (28 total) to lead No. 12 Duke over No. 14 Virginia 65-55. The B-Devs have won six straight since losing to Dennis Smith Jr. and the Wolfpack…
  • They played a lot of games last night, we can’t write about them all here, but if you need a score, click here to get it

GOLF

  • Tiger Woods has already withdrawn from the Genesis Open at Riviera Country Club, but it came as a surprise yesterday when he withdrew from the tournament press conference due to injury. So his back’s so bad he can’t speak in public? Yikes…

NHL

THE SIX D-BAGS WHO RUIN PICK-UP BASKETBALL…

1ef939f5-af51-4ed7-8d31-580552b4fcb9

No 5: The “I’m Here For The Physicality” Guy

Hey, Brian. Can I call you Brian? No, I don’t know your fucking name, but I do know that your propensity to drive to the lane, lower your shoulder when you don’t have an angle, and bowl me over like I called your grandmother a whore isn’t making this game very enjoyable. I’m just here to shoot threes and not get hurt, and you’re making the latter goal increasingly difficult. Please go take a Jiu-Jitsu class or some shit and leave my torso the fuck alone.

Click here to see the other five dudes who will leave you fuming

#LEADTRIVIA – Degree of Difficulty: 3 (out of 5)

Who did the Cavaliers (they traded the pick to Dallas) select with the No. 34 pick in the 2012 NBA Draft, one spot before the Warriors selected Draymond Green?CLICK HERE FOR THELEAD TRIVIA ANSWER

Related

Sign-up for the quickie. The sports newsletter that makes your morning glorious.