NFL

Hue Jackson’s 5 Stages of Grief

Finishing 0-16 is hard. There are a lot of bad teams. The 2012 Bobcats, the ’62 Mets, my high school debate team ’09. But all those teams at least won one game. The Browns are in danger of joining the 2008 Detroit Lions as the only NFL teams to 0-16. We don’t know if they’ll get there but we do know that Brown’s coach Hue Jackson is feeling the pain. Here are his five stages of grief:

No 5: DENIAL – “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

Sunday, Nov. 17, 2013 BENGALS SPORTS : Cincinnati Bengals running backs coach Hue Jackson watches his guys warm up prior to their game against the Cleveland Browns at Paul Brown Stadium. The Enquirer/Jeff Swinger

Hue screams this right into a pillow, partly to get energy out, partly in the hope he’ll suffocate and not have to finish 0-16.

No 4: ANGER – “Dak? Dak Prescott? Just shoot me in the face!”

angry-actually

Everyone regrets passing on Dak Prescott. But taking Cody Kessler over Dak is a whole different level of regret.

No 3: BARGAINING WITH HIMSELF – “Dear God, I will murder RG3 for one win. We don’t need more than two RG’s around here anyway.”

Cleveland Browns head coach Hue Jackson speaks to the media during a news conference after an NFL preseason football game against the Chicago Bears, Thursday, Sept. 1, 2016, in Cleveland. The Bears won 21-7. (AP Photo/David Richard) ORG XMIT: OHJMOTK

Hue is sinking deep; he’ll do anything for a win.

No 2: DEPRESSION- “Oh God, Why?”

sad

Hue is having a tough time with these Browns, it only makes sense that he looks to a higher power for answers. For now he’ll just stare off into the distance.

No 1: ACCEPTANCE – “Maybe I’ll teach gym”

acceptance

Hue knows that shit isn’t going to get better. He thinks he’ll feel at home amongst middle schoolers because they also hate themselves.

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