Martellus Bennett is a Better, Saner Version of Aaron Hernandez

The Patriots new two-TE combo of Gronk and Martellus Bennett was supposed to be, as they say in Boston (or at least the movies say they say), “wicked pissah kid.” The formula was simple: combine one 6’7, 265-lb half-human, half-bro who just happens to be the best tight end of all-time with a smaller, athletic, tight end with excellent pass-catching skills who caught 143 balls the previous 27 games for the Bears (and who is so desperate to win that he doesn’t care about individual numbers).

As long as both players were healthy, it seemed like a full-proof plan, especially with Julian Edelman lining up next to them and a certain fashion-forward QB who has apparently learned to reverse the aging process under center. We got a preview of the two-headed tight end monster before Aaron Hernandez starting murdering everyone who looked at him cross-eyed (or more accurately, before he started getting caught for it), and despite Gronk not being a full-formed player at the time, it looked pretty fucking good then. With both Bennett and Gronk in their prime, this was supposed to better.

We only saw it in snippets over the first four games because of injuries to Gronk, Bennett still getting used to the offense, and a rotation of two backup QBs. Now that #12 is back and the full offensive playbook is being used, they exactly like we thought they might: the best tight end combo in modern NFL history. Bennett currently has 6 catches for 67 yards and 3 TDs and Gronk has 5 catches for 109 yards. With 8 minutes left in the fourth quarter. It’s amazing what can happen when your #2 tight end is a smart, interesting, deep thinker instead of a sociopathic serial killer.

Even worse for the NFL? Gronk still isn’t even 100%. Good luck stopping them when he is…

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