The 6 Most Punchable Faces in Baseball

There are all sorts of faces in Major League Baseball. Happy ones, sad ones, big ones, small ones, and your everyday boring, neutral ones. There are also some very punchable ones, and since we all like to occasionally imagine punching someone we don’t like in the face, we took the liberty to go ahead and rank them.


6. Carlos Gomez


He’s smug, he’s cocky, and he’s remained that way despite back-to-back mediocre seasons. We’re all for expressing yourself on the baseball field, but something about Gomez’s over the top, me against the world attitude brings out our inner rage monster. For future reference our rage monster’s name is Tony, he’s a virgo, and likes dark-bodied red wines to calm him down. Moving on…

5. Zack Greinke

We get it, dude. You think you’re smarter than everyone, and maybe you are. But let’s be honest, nobody likes a smart-ass, and the second you signed that 6 year, $206.5 million contract you stopped being the endearing dork and quickly transformed into baseball’s version of Mark Zuckerberg. The Jesse Eisenberg rendition, of course…

4. José Bautista


This one’s easy, especially since Rougned Odor gave us a top-rate demonstration of what your face looks like after a fist has made contact. We thought you deserved it then, due to your hardcore case of RBF, gross over-valuing of yourself during contract negotiations, and obnoxious batting stance, and we think you could use another one now after hearing you bitch and moan throughout the ALCS…

3. Billy Butler


Aside from the fact that we can see you dressed in full camo, packing a long-range rifle, and leading some sort of militia designed to protect the second amendment, we lost all respect for you after you tattled on your teammate for not wearing the right cleats during games. We don’t advocate the “snitches get stitches” movement, but in this case we’d be in full support of Butler getting belted…

2. A.J. Pierzynski


Not sure we need to explain this one. Just look at the guy. If that face and those frosted tips don’t make you more heated than a hot yoga studio in hell (a Bikram establishment) then there’s a good chance you don’t have a soul. One thing we know for sure is that the first image in Michael Barrett’s wank bank is not a sexual encounter…

1. Joe West


That’s right Joe. You thought umpires were safe from our wrath, but you were mistaken. Your strike zone is more inconsistent than Leo’s South African accent in Blood Diamond, and you insist on making yourself the center of attention instead of just doing your job and letting the players play. On top of that, you possess the second most impressive waddle in the public eye (right behind Mitch McConnell) and we’d love to see what that thing looks like with a little punch-caused vibration going through it…

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